Slogans that all clothing stores need

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot about mall stores, as you can tell by other blog posts. One thing that’s been sticking out to me is that a lot of these stores don’t have slogans, or don’t really advertise them.

So I came up with perfect slogans for these stores. To me, they perfectly reflect what the stores sell and who they market to. Plus, they’re really catchy! They can totally be the next “I’m Lovin’ It!”

Brandy Melville:

 

What its slogan should be:

If you don’t have an eating disorder, we don’t sell to you BYEEEEE!

PINK Victoria’s Secret

What its slogan should be:

Our bras are a joke, but we have cute yoga pants!

American Apparel

What its slogan should be:

Trying to cover up our brand failing with PRETTY COLORS!

Aeropostale

What its slogan should be:

Bethany Mota is the only thing keeping us afloat-a.

Forever 21

What its slogan should be:

Our name is ironic because 21-year-olds are too old to shop here

Victoria’s Secret

What its slogan should be:

Our secret is that your boobs will have awkward rashes after wearing our sexy bras!

H&M

What its slogan should be:

A confused combination of $5 T-shirts and haute couture.

American Eagle Outfitters:


What its slogan should be:

NOT THE AIRLINE, PEOPLE. NOT THE AIRLINE.

Zara

What its slogan should be:

We’ve had issues with religion and race before, but we’ll make you look like a style blogger, sooooo….

Urban Outfitters

What its slogan should be:

A disgrace to hipsters and vintage collectors everywhere.

Anthropologie 

What its slogan should be:

Throw all your money away with $25 hair elastics and $68 dollar brooms!

Abercrombie & Fitch

 

What its slogan should be:

You’re not in our demographic. Haul your cellulite to Torrid, fatty.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying Torrid is a store only for larger people. I’m just satirizing Abercrombie’s messed-up opinions that cost them their popularity. Fear not, I love Torrid with all my heart.

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