Seriously, Stop Calling People “Snacks”

If I were to tell you that I was extremely astute when it came to slang terms, I would be lying through my teeth.

Every day, it seems as though a new expression finds its way into the digital lexicon. For me, it is incredibly difficult to keep up with this fast-paced facet of Internet culture. Seriously, I still find myself saying “yeet” and “on fleek” from time to time. Continue reading “Seriously, Stop Calling People “Snacks””


The greatest study tips you will ever witness

Blah blah blah, shebang about how school season is in full swing, blah, blah, blah, fluff about how hard my classes are, blah, blah, blah, even fluffier fluff about how I know how to study principally because of the rigor of my classes, blah, blah, blah, onto the list proper.
1. Start a group chat with other classmates where you can talk about your assignments and ask questions.

Throughout my high school career, I have been involved in at least one group chat for my classes every year. I highly recommend doing this because it gives you a place where you can communicate with people like you who may be struggling on a certain concept, help other people who are struggling while simultaneously helping yourself, and get help from someone who knows more than you do about something. Also, if you goof off and forget to write down the homework problems, you will always have someone to ask. In short, this method is a surefire way to stay on top of your classes.

Until Becky invites Steve, a guy she’s “seeing,” into the chat. And they begin to commiserate over trigonometric functions. And then they begin to commiserate over whether or not Jupiter is in retrograde. And then their hopes and dreams. And then their ideal number of children. And then come the fire and water droplet emojis. And then come the words that will never be shown in a Punfiltered entry. And then come the pictures that will never be shown in a Punfiltered entry. And then you see that their little exchange is too rich for words. And then you remember that Becky ruined your white Keds in elementary school. And then you declare it’s time for revenge. And then you expose her to the whole school. And then she fights you. And then you both end up in the dean’s office. And then you both get suspended, but you for longer. And then that goes on your record.

Case in point, class group chats will save your life. Next!

2. Use brightly colored supplies to add some vivaciousness to your labor

This may sound juvenile (PRETTY COLORS), but using bright highlighters, note cards, pens, and PostIts makes studying worthwhile. Call me a nerd, but there is something so oddly satisfying about taking APUSH notes and highlighting locations pink, groups and organizations orange, people yellow, dates and years green, important words blue, and vocabulary words purple. It’s so fun to paint with all the colors of your school supplies and study tools.

And then that makes you think of Pocahontas. And then that makes you realize that you haven’t seen that movie since gymnastics camp in 2008. And then you watch it on Netflix. And then you cry. And then you notice that there are even more movies on Netflix. And the you peruse the entire Disney subcategory. And then you miss your childhood. And then you cry to your mom and tell her that you want to stay a kid forever and that you miss those days were there was no such thing as responsibility. And then you realize that there can be no such thing as responsibility. And then you stop doing literally everything.

Anyways, colorful supplies are my natural high. Next!

3. Watch educational videos to get an explanation from a different perspective.

Let’s face it, teachers and their lessons could be difficult to understand. If only you had a better explanation. Well, take that “if only you had” out and replace it with a “there is,” and you will have a true statement! There are an abundance of videos on YouTube available on a plethora of concepts and subjects. Most of the time, they give a completely different explanation, and usually, they’re better or clearer. Whenever I need help in my chemistry class, for example, I search the concept on YouTube, and I’m immediately met with plenty of results. What I usually do is take note on the video and write them in the terms of the person educating me in the video.

And then you notice that said person is actually kinda cute. And then you Google his name. And then you come across his IMBD page. And then you click on another tab to see that he was arrested for driving under the influence and twerking on a police officer. And then you watch videos of him getting arrested. And then you laugh. And then you laugh harder. And then you snort milk from your nose. And then you realize that you don’t even drink milk. And then you freak out. And then you call your doctor. And then she tells you that she’s not answering questions at this hour. And then you go to the emergency room. And then you get waited on long before the woman near you, who is dying of a heart attack. And then, she collapses. And then you develop a guilt that you will carry for the rest of your life.

Aren’t educational videos great? Moving on!

4. Find motivation and stick to it

Academic motivation can be very hard to come by. There’s just so much work, right? But the sad truth is, there will always be so much work. The best thing that you can do is imagine all of that work leading up to amazing results.

The next time you’re studying for an unreasonably important test or slaving over an unfairly long paper, picture yourself working hard enough and earning an A, B, F+, or whatever may fulfill your standards of goodness. You will for sure be motivated to put all of your effort into whatever scholarly task you are assigned. And then you will remember that high grades are not the only good things in life: donuts are, too. And then you’ll become hungry. And then you’ll get in your car to drive to the nearest bakery. And then you’ll realize that it’s 1 a.m. because you procrastinated. And then you’ll call a PostMate. And then the only PostMate available will be your Econ teacher, whose assignment is what you’re procrastinating on. And then you laugh because Mr. Chidderman (tell me that’s a last name) is actually a PostMate. And then you’ll get ready to expose him. And then you’ll realize the minuscule proportions of a teacher’s salary, and you can’t help but feel bad for the guy. And then you remember that your teacher is the only PostMate available. And then you come up with a masterful disguise so he does not see you. And then you put on an excessive amount of makeup. And then you remember that all of your makeup is infected. And then you proceed to slowly and painfully perish.

Motivation. Find it. Next!

Well, that’s all the study tips I have for you guys today! I wish you all a slew of good grades, positive progress, and police reports!

Cayla Asks Herself Questions: Am I basic?

A: What? Nooooo…

Ugh, who would ask such a thing?

Oh wait, I would.

But that’s besides the point. I am NOT basic. What are you talking about?

I listen to so many unpopular, underground artists. I mean, have you ever heard of The War on Drugs? Father John Misty? Lower Dens? Car Seat Headrest? Hinds? Future Islands? Julia Holter? Steven Wilson? Huh? Huh?

Well, never mind the fact that I like a maximum of three songs from each of them and that my actual favorite artists are actually a little more well-known and are signed to major labels. I mean, who cares about that?

Oh, here’s another piece of evidence: I hate the Kardashians. Like, a lot.

Well, there was that one time I saw Khloe at the mall, and I thought about it for about a month. But come on, that’s not that long. I’m sure that there are people who would think about it for years.

And maybe I did insist on walking by and admiring The Kylie Shop when it was at the mall, but at least I didn’t wait in a 10-hour line for it! Well, I couldn’t because EVERYTHING IN THAT STORE WAS TOO DARN EXPENSIVE AND I WAS NOT WORTHY OF THE FRUITS OF THE GODDESS KNOWN AS KING KYLIE, but that’s not my problem.

You know why else I’m not basic? I don’t dress basic.

Mint blue? I would never. Crop tops? My mom would never. Brandy Melville? I would never. Adidas sneakers? I would never. Yoga pants outside the gym? I would never.

Okay, voice in my head, stop. Yes, I have a crap ton of army green, ankle boots, thigh high boots, skirts, maroon, boyfriend jeans, skinny jeans, black jeans, ripped jeans, nineties-looking stuff, tie-front shirts, and pale pink, but I was doing that way before everyone else. Duh. I’m a trendsetter.

Guess what else? I would never go to basic places.

Well, except for the Santa Monica Pier, Disneyland, my local shopping center, Universal Studios, Downtown LA, Malibu, Paradise Cove, In N Out, Melrose, the Commons, my nearby hiking trails, 24 Hour Fitness, and LACMA, but in my defense, I live in Los Angeles. Every place is basic!

At least I travel to obscure hidden gems off the beaten path, right? I’ve been to my cousin’s house in suburban Maryland. That’s not on any Expedia page!

Who cares that I’ve seen someone I’ve known at basically every place I’ve been? They were there because I was there, obviously!

Oh, this one’s the kicker: I don’t say basic things. There!

Wait, the word “basic” itself is “basic?” But there are no other words that convey the same meaning as it does! I’m just attempting to be linguistically correct here, okay?

I stand by my earlier claim. I’m most definitely not basic. You are. Not me. Understood? Understood.

Slogans that all clothing stores need

Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot about mall stores, as you can tell by other blog posts. One thing that’s been sticking out to me is that a lot of these stores don’t have slogans, or don’t really advertise them.

So I came up with perfect slogans for these stores. To me, they perfectly reflect what the stores sell and who they market to. Plus, they’re really catchy! They can totally be the next “I’m Lovin’ It!”

Brandy Melville:


What its slogan should be:

If you don’t have an eating disorder, we don’t sell to you BYEEEEE!

PINK Victoria’s Secret

What its slogan should be:

Our bras are a joke, but we have cute yoga pants!

American Apparel

What its slogan should be:

Trying to cover up our brand failing with PRETTY COLORS!


What its slogan should be:

Bethany Mota is the only thing keeping us afloat-a.

Forever 21

What its slogan should be:

Our name is ironic because 21-year-olds are too old to shop here

Victoria’s Secret

What its slogan should be:

Our secret is that your boobs will have awkward rashes after wearing our sexy bras!


What its slogan should be:

A confused combination of $5 T-shirts and haute couture.

American Eagle Outfitters:

What its slogan should be:



What its slogan should be:

We’ve had issues with religion and race before, but we’ll make you look like a style blogger, sooooo….

Urban Outfitters

What its slogan should be:

A disgrace to hipsters and vintage collectors everywhere.


What its slogan should be:

Throw all your money away with $25 hair elastics and $68 dollar brooms!

Abercrombie & Fitch


What its slogan should be:

You’re not in our demographic. Haul your cellulite to Torrid, fatty.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not saying Torrid is a store only for larger people. I’m just satirizing Abercrombie’s messed-up opinions that cost them their popularity. Fear not, I love Torrid with all my heart.